Flutterby™! : One Life, One Paragraph

It used to taught to Chicago journalists that you had to state who, what, where, when, why, how and Mayor Daley in the first paragraph. Even now, sometimes you find a paragraph that gets most of that right (not the Mayor Daley part), yet still sums up the sadness of some man's existance. From the Chicago Tribune:

"A man who dashed into a downtown subway after allegedly robbing a bank Tuesday — only to have a red dye pack explode in his pants pocket — was wearing a home monitoring device on his left ankle and was on parole for robbing a Loop Starbucks, police said."