Flutterby™! : queer for a vanilla het monogamous butch guy

Next unread comment / Catchup all unread comments User Account Info | Logout | XML/Pilot/etc versions | Long version (with comments) | Weblog archives | Site Map | | Browse Topics

queer for a vanilla het monogamous butch guy

2015-12-31 19:46:04.32498+00 by Dan Lyke 2 comments

Just copied over for safe-keeping from a Facebook thread, in which I observed that "I'm pretty queer for a vanilla het monogamous butch guy...", and I've been working on clarifying that statement in a couple of contexts, so a few comments down I wrote:

When I square dance call, especially for gay clubs, I will often wear my "Gay Caller's Association" badge, and have gotten into several conversations of "so... you're clearly straight, why is that your chosen affiliation?", and that's led to a bunch of thinking and discussion on why sexuality and gender identity matter and why they don't.

And I guess I'm kind of coming to something along the lines of "unless we're going to get naked and intimate together, none of those things really *should* matter, and my sexuality involves a level of closeness that I really don't have the bandwidth to maintain with more than one person at a time. So if sex is off the table, then it's kind of my responsibility as an ally to muck with people's expectations around sexuality and gender."

[ related topics: Interactive Drama Erotic Sexual Culture broadband Bay Area Nudity Work, productivity and environment Community Furniture ]

comments in ascending chronological order (reverse):

#Comment Re: queer for a vanilla het monogamous butch guy made: 2015-12-31 20:20:05.575053+00 by: Larry Burton

That's been my thinking for a while. If you and I aren't having sex then I have no interest in what your sexuality is and I have no inclination to discuss mine with you. And I should make no assumption regarding one's sexuality based on one's mannerisms or interests.

#Comment Re: queer for a vanilla het monogamous butch guy made: 2016-01-13 15:52:03.30466+00 by: meuon

"an ally to muck with people's expectations" = tweaking the status quo. Fabulous.

I like to hang with some gay friends for the intelligent conversation, lack of football/sports religion dogma, good food... and am OK being the "Token Straight Guy". Oh.. yeah, and I'll Contra Dance either side..

Add your own comment:

(If anyone ever actually uses Webmention/indie-action to post here, please email me)




Format with:

(You should probably use "Text" mode: URLs will be mostly recognized and linked, _underscore quoted_ text is looked up in a glossary, _underscore quoted_ (http://xyz.pdq) becomes a link, without the link in the parenthesis it becomes a <cite> tag. All <cite>ed text will point to the Flutterby knowledge base. Two enters (ie: a blank line) gets you a new paragraph, special treatment for paragraphs that are manually indented or start with "#" (as in "#include" or "#!/usr/bin/perl"), "/* " or ">" (as in a quoted message) or look like lists, or within a paragraph you can use a number of HTML tags:

p, img, br, hr, a, sub, sup, tt, i, b, h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6, cite, em, strong, code, samp, kbd, pre, blockquote, address, ol, dl, ul, dt, dd, li, dir, menu, table, tr, td, th

Comment policy

We will not edit your comments. However, we may delete your comments, or cause them to be hidden behind another link, if we feel they detract from the conversation. Commercial plugs are fine, if they are relevant to the conversation, and if you don't try to pretend to be a consumer. Annoying endorsements will be deleted if you're lucky, if you're not a whole bunch of people smarter and more articulate than you will ridicule you, and we will leave such ridicule in place.

Flutterby™ is a trademark claimed by

Dan Lyke
for the web publications at www.flutterby.com and www.flutterby.net.