Flutterby™! : Elizabeth Warren, Cougar

So serial surrealist Jacob Wohl held a press conference today. RT Will Sommer @willsommer:

Today’s Jacob Wohl press conference topic:

Ignoring the fact that "Elizabeth Warren, cougar?" would make an awesome yard sign, apparently he distributed some bad fan-fic apparently written by someone who'd never actually had sex before, with someone whose explanation for his injuries on Instagram didn't agree with the testimony of the press conference.

The internet exploded in hilarity. RT Louisa🌈👭 @LouisatheLast:

Imagine thinking that Liz Warren would be LESS cool if she had a BDSM affair with a 25 year old, muscular Marine

Michael Stahlke @MichaelStahlke

Seriously though. Jacob Wohl just tried to claim that a septuagenarian law professor can outfight, outfuck, and presumably outdrink our brave marines.

The media got involved: A Trump booster promised to reveal the whistleblower’s name from his front yard. The neighbors just laughed.

And then came the epic finale: RT Elizabeth Warren @ewarren:

It's always a good day to be reminded that I got where I am because a great education was available for $50 a semester at the University of Houston (go Cougars!). We need to cancel student debt and make college free for everyone who wants it.