Flutterby™! : '80s causes of death

'80s causes of death

2024-08-22 20:02:57.902637+02 by Dan Lyke 1 comments

From poisoning LLMs to "nostalgia" for the Reagan years, this captures so much of the zeitgeist: RT monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 @monkeyborg@triangletoot.party

Leading causes of death in the U.S., 1980-89:

Ages 0-1: Demonic possession

2-5: Failure by parents to apply “Mr. Yuk” stickers to caustic household chemicals

6-10: Razor blades in Halloween candy

11-14: Being gagged with a spoon

15-19: Ritual sacrifice by Satanists (D&D players)

20-34: Cocaine

35-49: Injuries sustained while Jazzercising

50-64: Communism

65: Last day on the force before retirement

66-79: Lung cancer

80+: Encounters with disrespectful juvenile street gangs

[ related topics: Drugs ]

comments in ascending chronological order (reverse):

#Comment Re: '80s causes of death made: 2024-08-24 21:41:14.874235+02 by: Mars Saxman

That is so exactly, perfectly right.

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