2001-09-20 16:21:42+00 by TC 7 comments
Every U down in Uville liked U.S. a lot,
But the Binch, who lived Far East of Uville, did not.
The Binch hated U.S! the whole U.S. way!
Now don't ask me why, for nobody can say,
The story of the Binch in first reply
[ related topics: Humor WTC/Pentagon attacks ]
comments in ascending chronological order (reverse):
#Comment made: 2001-09-20 16:30:41+00 by: TC [edit history]
Every U down in Uville liked U.S. a lot,
But the Binch, who lived Far East of Uville, did not.
The Binch hated U.S! the whole U.S. way!
Now don't ask me why, for nobody can say,
It could be his turban was screwed on too tight.
Or the sun from the desert had beaten too bright
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
But, Whatever the reason, his heart or his turban,
He stood facing Uville, the part that was urban.
"They're doing their business," he snarled from his perch.
"They're raising their families! They're going to church!
They're leading the world, and their empire is thriving,
I MUST keep the S's and U's from surviving!"
Tomorrow, he knew, all the U's and the S's,
Would put on their pants and their shirts and their dresses,
They'd go to their offices, playgrounds and schools,
And abide by their U and S values and rules,
And then they'd do something he liked least of all,
Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand all united, each U and each S,
And they'd sing Uville's anthem, "God bless us! God bless!"
All around their Twin Towers of Uville, they'd stand,
and their voices would drown every sound in the land.
"I must stop that singing," Binch said with a smirk,
And he had an idea--an idea that might work!
The Binch stole some U airplanes in U morning hours,
And crashed them right into the Uville Twin Towers.
"They'll wake to disaster!" he snickered, so sour,
"And how can they sing when they can't find a tower?"
The Binch cocked his ear as they woke from their sleeping,
All set to enjoy their U-wailing and weeping,
Instead he heard something that started quite low,
And it built up quite slow, but it started to grow--
And the Binch heard the most unpredictable thing...
And he couldn't believe it--they started to sing!
He stared down at U-ville, not trusting his eyes,
What he saw was a shocking, disgusting surprise!
Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any towers at all!
He HADN'T stopped U-Ville from singing! It sung!
For down deep in the hearts of the old and the young,
Those Twin Towers were standing, called Hope and called Pride,
And you can't smash the towers we hold deep inside.
So we circle the sites where our heroes did fall,
With a hand in each hand of the tall and the small,
And we mourn for our losses while knowing we'll cope,
For we still have inside that U-Pride and U-Hope.
For America means a bit more than tall towers,
It means more than wealth or political powers,
It's more than our enemies ever could guess,
So may God bless America! Bless us! God bless!
#Comment made: 2002-02-21 05:32:47+00 by: Larry Burton
Is there a credit for this? I liked it.
#Comment made: 2002-02-21 05:32:47+00 by: michael d. ivey
I have heard it attributed to Rob Suggs, a children's author and illustrator who works a lot with the children at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta.
#Comment made: 2002-02-21 05:32:48+00 by: Rannva
That is simply fabulous! I have to show it to my friends down i U-ville!In the meantime: luminous dreams to you!http://luminousdreams.blogspot.com
#Comment made: 2001-09-26 15:34:29+00 by: ntk [edit history]
Every A down in A-ville liked Allah a lot.
But the Winch, who lived Far West of A-ville, did not.
The Winch hated Allah! The whole A-ville way!
Now don't ask me why, for nobody can say,
It could be his Dad was still filled up with spite
Or despite his appearance he wasn't too bright
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Is that spending on Defence was way, way too small
But, whatever the reason, his Dad or his brain,
When the towers were destroyed he went quietly insane
"They're attacking democracy," he snarled without irony
"They hate all our freedoms! And civilised tyranny!
I'll hunt down the killers and those who support them
Until we have glass from Kabul to Jerusalem"
Tommorow, he knew, all As, hearty or pale
Would be rising at dawn to the muezzin's loud wail
They'd go to their mosques, with their minarets shining
(though the women, of course, stayed at home with the ironing)
And then they'd do something he liked least of all,
Every male down in in A-ville, the tall and the small,
Would kneel all united, all facing the east,
And mumble and chant without vicar or priest,
In their praising of Allah, all over the land
In a language the Winch just could not understand
"I must stop that chanting," Winch sobbed through his tears,
Then he had an idea - the first for some years!
He called all his friends - well, his FRIEND back in London
And asked him to back his crusade to oblivion
"Thye'll have to think twice when they see we're not turning,
And how can they chant when their mosques are all burning?"
So with military morals and military might
The Winch began bombing A-ville day and night
He flattened the mosques, and the factories, and schools
(That naughty old Winch! He broke all the rules!)
Yes, he slaughtered the As through the night and the day
While the terrorists hid themselves, far, far away
Then the Winch called a halt to the mass conflgration
And he waited for dawn with a great expectation
An end to the chanting in strange foreign voices
and the worship of Allah with which A-ville rejoices...
But then out of the silence, the Winch heard a sound
A faraway sound, speeding over the ground
It started out low, and it started to grow
A crescendo of pulsating sound from his foe!
And the Winch, in blind panic, fought vainly for breath
As he heard, in plain English "TO THE INFIDELS, DEATH!!"
He called up his generals in frank disbelief
He was morally perfect, and armed to the teeth -
He had flattened their mosques with his weapons most giant
But instead of kow-towing, the As were defiant!
He HADN'T stopped A-ville from chanting! They chanted!
The As just would not do whatever he wanted!
They chanted to Allah, they chanted for vengeance
The Winch and his friends were now due a huge penance
He hadn't quite sussed it, the primate-reject:
YOU CAN'T BOMB CIVILIANS TO GET THEIR RESPECT.
#Comment made: 2002-02-21 05:32:49+00 by: TC
Sorry Larry, I got it in email from one of my less technically savy friends and it has a long trail of email but no credit for the original author. I love most things seusian and this made me feel better, so I shared. and sorry folks about the color. I can't seem to escape it...
#Comment made: 2002-02-21 05:32:50+00 by: Dan Lyke
Re: color. Yep, found a glitch in my parser. Tries to close unclosed tags within a paragraph. Browsers don't understand <FONT ... />... I don't remember the HTML 4 DTD off the top of my head, you might be able to work around it by going to a message type of HTML. Also remember that the colors don't necessarily look good with all color schemes...